offbeat

in the last few days:

-an epic party.

-cold feet.

-locked out.

-a fistful of quarters and a bag of oranges.

-public phones.

-spending money.

-friends.

-hot chocolate.

-many possibilities.

morning commuters.

every friday morning i take the #6 bus at exactly 6:36 am.

always on the dot.

i plan to dance all night.

scratch record

happiness in:

-walking with a purpose.

-sleeping alone.

-william morris' wallpapers.

-finishing a book.

-the smile of the old man in the balcony who said hello.

-morning coffee.

-getting home after a long day.

-the crispy cold weather.

-new ideas.

-youth.

the things we do for company:

* keep quiet.
* smile.
* say yes.
* pretend it didn't happen.

conquer the world.

we can do all this and more.

i've been hit by unexpected emotions

how do you measure success?

currently:

re-reading pride and prejudice.
welcoming fall.

let's leap

and not look back.

ok so here it goes.

they told me today at work that knitting functioned as an anti-depressant.

i am going to knit all night.

lonely - the middle east

We have material minds
And restless hands
Longing hearts
And lonely beds
But we purchase stuff
And work too hard
Use our heads
And fill our beds

I am a working class girl.

today: 10/1/09

location: computer lab.
mood: eh.
position: sitting.


i am suppose to be writing some creative essay about the pioneers of photography.
but i lack creativity today. i want to go home and hide under the covers of my bed.
it is too cold outside.
my feet are icicles, which never seem to warm up despite the hours they spend warp around socks.

to-do list:
find journal: it has gone missing again. i can't allow my unstable thoughts to go off wandering like that.
dance: we all need a little movement and loud music.
install snow leopard: lets see if it was worth it.
pay rent: ...
figure out what you are going to be doing tomorrow: overlapping shifts are a real pain.
eat: something decent. no junk.
read: the unbearable lightness of being by milan kundera.

cartoon.

                                          stephanie according to rox. cardigan included. 

slc

sea wolf

a middle distance runner

i was called an asshole last night.
maybe i am.
i try too hard to please other people and ask for too much in return.

Charles Baudelaire

          "He is an 'I' with an insatiable appetite for the 'non-I'"

Garden

after a weekend of getting fucked up and slacking on school work. 

i spend sunday with my family.

even though i haven't seen you in years yours is a funeral i'd fly to from anywhere

i had lunch today with a friend i haven't talked to in two years.

(can i still consider her a friend?)

time is funny.

sergio is a father. imagine that. 

listen.

i need to set my priorities straight.

again. 

fall semester.

the summer is ending,

the nights are getting colder and school is just a few weeks ahead.

i wonder if i will be able to manage? 

ummm yeah. 

whiskey wednesday

frontline

i welcome new illusions. 

in 2004

i miss who i used to be.

a bit more carefree.

a lot more eloquent. 

sabotage

you know that feeling when everything is ok:

(a loving family)

(good friends)

(an awesome job)

and you are just waiting for a disaster to happen.

and when it doesn't you make up your own, because for some reason you are not comfortable being content.  

i wish i was a nicer person. 

content. 

this is life

i hope i am making the right decision.

say cheese

summer.

this is the ideal time to be young. 

i rather not

the summer is almost here and i will soon be 22.

so many possibilities... 

wide streets

salt lake city

limited access

early morning at work.

with i-don't-care-how-i-look hair and my new/old smena 8.

i am not ignorant.

i am the kind of girl

that is happy with books. 

what we aim for

almost done. 

everyone is guilty.

Late birthday greeting to Alex.

one of the few readers of this blog 

and the best friend of the future a girl can have.

(almost 10-years of friendship and my first kiss) 

Stationed

day two of paper writing.

3 more pages to go. 

last night: 

4-nonstop hours of bike riding. 

finals and crooked fingers.

i always surprise myself during finals.

where do all these words come from?

nothing really makes sense. 

and yet i get the grade. that's school for you. 

nonsense. 

cut+paste

thursday

today:

bike riding.

old friends.

dancing. dancing. dancing. 

I am not a scholar.

the end of the semester is around the corner. 

and i have no idea what will i be doing during the summer. 

greenery

i wish i had more plants. 

type

goals for today:

work on research paper. 

Critical Decision Making.

fine. i'll get a grip. 

reality

im a handful of contradictions:

lately i've been feeling lonely and whatnot,

yet last night when the opportunity was presented to cuddle all night

with a cute/funny boy, i turned it down (mind you, i was slightly fucked up and we barely met)

so instead i spend the night alone on an uncomfortable green couch with a ninja turtle blanket.

it might have been the right decision, but i still regret it. 

conversations

country mile

"Once again, I'll be the foolish one
Thinking a blink of these lashes would make you come
Don't you worry, don't get in a state
I don't believe in true love anyway
Who's being pessimistic now?"

Roland Barthes

"the writer can only imitate a gesture that is always anterior, never original. his only power is to mix writings, to counter the ones with the others, in such a way as never to rest on any one of them." 

"the birth of the reader must be at the cost of the death of the author"