it seems like you can't avoid complications.

knitting + reading in bed.

you wake up in the bed you make.

I'll take the risk and have the fun.

bullshitter

i talk too much.

hold on.

so here we go, another adventure.

Oliver

he used to be so small. so cute.

teenage years:

same shoe. same cat.


lazy kitten.



note: pictures taken with my lousy phone camera

wish me luck.

i have my fingers constantly crossed.

Now, get back on that horse and ride.

it is the end of the summer and i have plans.

the goal is to edit and focus.

i am afraid i'll fail to meet expectations.

it is time for a redirection.

this weekend was about saying goodbye to friends and making new ones.

so i've mentioned how i prefer film.
but i've also noticed that i am pretty picky when it comes to prints.
for example:
when working in black and white prints (darkroom-"serious photography"-sort-of-stuff). i go for the heavy dark border on matte fiber paper.
on color prints (developed at my local smith's marketplace) i like the white borders and the matte finish.
it took me a long time, but now my preferences are set.

i go on long walks.

we had a good run and an amicable ending.
but I'll miss how he used to place his hand on mine while he drove.

i hate waking up hung over.
again.

i am a bit of a film snob.
consequently i have box full of undeveloped film and hundreds of print and negatives all over my room.

de·ceit·ful

adjective /diˈsētfəl/ 

(of a person) Deceiving or misleading others, typically on a habitual basis


Intended to deceive or mislead
• - such an act would have been deceitful and irresponsible

I've spent my morning:
reading in bed.
bra-less.
writing nonsense.
being ok.
listening to that new album of that new band.
cleaning my room.
eating pears.

it is not all good, but honestly it is not all that bad either.

i am all for long days under the sun.

when it doesn't rain, it pours.

what can i say? i thought i played my cards correctly, but somehow i am still loosing.

upgrade

Before:


After:

small talk

intimacy

Basically...

list of things i am constantly complaining about but have grown tired of doing so:
-lack of money.
-incapability of having a "normal" committed relationship.
-nothing to wear.
-not enough time to read.
-sucky weather.
-the second job.
-waking up early.
-no decent meals.
-not enough traveling (ties in with "lack of money")
-repetitiveness.
and so on.

Since I completely failed to buy a planner at the beginning of the year, I've made it a habit to write down "to-do" lists in scraps of paper and post-its. Oh but what happens when i accidentally misplace one of these lists?
(and this happens frequently)
I am totally screwed and forget most of the things I have to-do.

meh.

listening to this song on repeat has helped me get through the first half of this boring/slow morning shift.
i need a new and more interactive second job. soon.

today's goal:
stop over analyzing and enjoy the nice weather.

here is the thing about drunk texting:
most of the time you regret what you've sent, but you know it is true.

lately: blah.
because i am:
grumpy.
poor.
stupid.
boy-less (optional).
on my period.
drunk (2 to 3 times a week).
minimum wage.
messy.
neurotic.

the Watson Twins: perfect for unhurried walks back home.

They seem wild but they are so tame

and just like that i was informed that i have 4 other siblings in Arizona.
my father was a busy man.

the rain/snow has kept me inside.
so i've been entertaining myself with netflix, rilo kiley, tostitos + nacho cheese dip (my strange version of comfort food), long naps, letter writing, social networking, and self photobooth portraits.

(they all seem to be a variation of the same theme: huh? what? cheese!?)

this morning:
i woke up alone and didn't mind it.
skipped photo class.
cleaned my room.
read in bed.
etc. etc. etc.

it seems i've made it a habit to get involved in complicated schemes.

contact has been established with my father's family.
it has been 14 years.

my latest purchases:
-a pink dresser.
-tulips.

Jamais

I stick to the script and I go with the plan
And frankly my dear I never gave a damn
Jamais
-Charlotte Gainsbourg

advice:

shut up and enjoy the ride.

I'll Try Anything Once - The Strokes

i sometimes get gutsy and do things like:
chop off my hair.
call in sick.
and kiss a boy.

keep it simple.

somewhere