anger issues / father issues

i am tired of trying to do the right things:

paying rent on time
saving money
being civil
pretending that nothing happen
pretending i don't know who you are
smiling when i don't feel like it
setting goals
getting involved
being on time. always.
being responsible. nice. understanding. committed. etc.etc.

when in the end i just get fucked over.
and i have to consume my rage in silence instead of simply saying what's really on my mind:
Fuck you. i am doing my best and you are just an irresponsible twat.

Results.

Barcelona 2010.

how do i avoid a nervous breakdown?

RoadTrips

a year ago we drove to Mexico for the weekend.

i've had a good few days:

long walks.

entertaining books.

green tea.

and a well equipped dark room to keep me busy.

lately i've been a combination of a petulant child and an uptight matron.

i need to loosen up.

shake a leg.